5 Reasons Staying at Home is Better Than Coming to Australia
1. You’ll almost never get to wear your coat
Don’t you love waking up on a cold, rainy day and throwing on a raincoat? Tragically, Australia is one of the sunniest places on Earth and it almost never gets below 10°C. Most days are tarnished by blue skies and beating rays of sunshine. Now you probably already have a coat, and if you move to Australia you will almost never get to use it. Naturally, you need to stay at home for the duration of the coats lifetime warranty.
2. You’ll Spend All Your Time at The Beach
Almost all Australians live near or on the beach, and if you move to Australia you’ll inevitably join their ranks and spend hours on end soaking up the sun and watching the waves go by with your new Oz Intro mates. What a waste! This will without a doubt stifle your dreams of becoming mid-level management. And if you pick up surfing, forget it. You’ll never leave the beach; you could end up spending years just “getting pitted” and “shredding with your mates”.
3. Adventure Sucks
Anyone who has ever gone on an adventure will tell you it was the worst decision they ever made. You’ll be forced to see so many new things and have to meet so many new people. Indeed, striking mountains, enchanting deserts, and crystal clear water all shrivel before the majesty of suburbia.
4. Everyone Will Want to Get to Know You
Standoffishness is next to godliness, and Australians’ friendly nature leaves a lot to be desired. Between all the people you’ll meet through Oz Intro and the ones you’ll meet along your travels, the conversations will never end. You’ll be bombarded with annoying questions like “what’s your name?” and “would you like to go for a drink?”. What a nightmare!
5. You’re So Close to Getting That Cubicle
Ever since you were a little kid, you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life in a cubicle, and now you’re so close. Why would you throw that all away for a life of freedom and adventure? Get a job, get a car, get a mortgage, 2 cheese graters, and an electric can opener. The fairy tale is so close.
We hope you take heed to this warning, and whatever you do, don’t click the link below :)